Of Ships and Their Sails
by Numbuh Phenon
Summary: Poor Nigel, it's not his fault he's a chick magnet.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Codename Kids Next Door.

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The final bell of Gallagher rang, and hordes of excited children trampled out of the double doors heading for buses and other rides; anything that would transport them home. After a long taxing week of homework, math equations, essay assignments and stomaching the lunch lady's questionable slop the board passed off as food, all the children were ready to return home and start the weekend. Plans of all night sleepovers were in the works, and boys mapping out their Saturday morning schedule were something common as you trailed along the streets filled with kids. Everyone was in a jubilant mood, well, almost everyone that is.

Once the crowd had thinned out and it was now safe to walk without risk of being shoved over, Nigel slowly ambled out of the doors and trekked down the steps into the street. The Brit tightly gripped the straps of his Yipper backpack and let out a tiring sigh. The leader of Sector V was in no mood for games or any type of silliness right now. All he felt up to doing was sulking, despite knowing he really shouldn't. But who could blame him? He had just been dumped by his girlfriend not even two weeks ago.

Yes, all the trails and effort would prove to be ultimately in vain for the infamous pair of Nigel Uno and Lizzie Devine had finally split up. Now Numbuh 1 lived up to his codenumbuh and surname by being single. The boy frowned as he turned a corner, thinking over his moody attitude as of late. Breakups tended to leave a and taste in anyone's mouth, especially if you were the dumpee. He had cared greatly for Lizzie, and for her to call it off just made it sting more. And the sad thing was, he lost her because she apparently thought he cared about the Kids Next Door more. And in a way, maybe he did. Always missing dates for missions and other duties. But now he wouldn't have to fret about that anymore, she had made sure of that.

Although surprisingly, Lizzie and the breakup itself wasn't what had him so down today. Even though they were finished, he had to painfully admit that this was probably the best thing for them. Now she could get a boyfriend completely devoted to her and he wouldn't have to always make that personal sacrifice. Besides, with his team always being there offering to go kicking evil adult butt on missions, he was getting over it rather well. But again, Lizzie and the breakup itself isn't what put him in a mood lately.

It was the fact that no one would leave him alone about it!

Nigel groaned as he thought of some of the idiotic masses he had been forced to deal with ever since the breakup was official. It feel into one of two categories. First, there were the kids who would give him a thumbs up gesture as he passed them in the hallways or on the streets. They would praise him for finally 'escaping Lizzie's hold' and pat him on the back for being on the open market once more. Then, there were the others. Others who would send him sneers and start up nasty rumors about him. Some extreme ones would even corner him and threaten his life he didn't get back together with Lizzie.

"Idiots." Nigel grumbled to himself as he glared behind his shades. The operative stopped as he approached a bench. Shrugging his backpack off, the bald boy hefted himself up and sat against the hardwood to try and gather some peace for the first time in days. "Whether I get back with my ex or not is MY business. Why won't they just drop it?"

Nigel crossed his arms as he stared into the expanse of the neighborhood before him. It just made no sense at all to him. He had heard of people interfering with other's personal matters, but he didn't think it was _this_ bad. It was like these stalkers needed to follow him and know of his relationship status like he was some celebrity, and when he made a decision about it they didn't like, it was like their purpose in life was over. The Brit only let loose another forlorn sigh as he contemplated his situation. At least things couldn't get any worse.

"Troubles, Nigel?"

"Gah!" The operative gasped as he reached for his sidearm, but after taking notice of who it was, he slackened his arms and breathed with relief. "Oh, it's just you Numbuh 362." He commented as the blonde wandered over to the bench. "You really need to stop sneaking up on people like that."

"Sorry, it comes like second nature." Rachel said with an amused smile as she seated herself on the opposite end of the bench. "And please, we're off duty. I'm not going to maim you for calling me by my name."

"Okay, Rachel." The boy amended as he nodded to himself. He then offered the girl a glance, slightly curious as to why she was here. "So what brings you out here?"

"Same as you, just trying to beat the rush and get back home. I go to the private school across town since my mom has this thing about her kids going to a 'dirty' public school." She trailed off as she thought of her mysophobic mother. Her look then went back to Nigel, and she frowned upon noting his slumped posture. "Well, maybe not the same as you. Something bothering you?"

"It's nothing." Nigel waved off. Her look became a bit stern, and he rolled his eyes as he cracked. "Just a tad bit miffed about this whole Lizzie thing."

"Oh. _That._" Rachel mumbled to herself. Her fingers played with the strings of her tiger stripped sweater as she thought on the touchy subject. "How are you holding up?"

"Oh I'm just about over it. I've come to terms that this is probably the best for both of us. My team has been really supportive, and I'm not drowning away at Lime Rickey's anymore so I guess I'm doing alright. But that's not what's bothering me."

As he started out, Rachel snapped up and her look became somewhat hopeful. But before Nigel could notice, she expertly masked it with a look of confusion. "So what seems to be the problem?"

"The problem, is that no one will leave me alone about it!" he yelled as he kicked his legs out, "You wouldn't believe it Rachel! Everywhere I go, there's either some idiot saying 'way to go buddy' or some maniac threatening 'you break her heart, and I break your limbs'. It's ridiculous!"

In the lighthearted gesture, Rachel giggled when she pictured some of the things Nigel was describing. "I find it hard to believe some fangirl could even try and break your legs off."

Seeing the blonde make light of it caused the Brit to chuckle a bit himself. "Yeah, I guess it's really nothing to lose sleep over." He then frowned once more. "It's just that they keep coming. When does it ever stop?"

"You shouldn't let it get to you Nigel," Rachel comforted as she motioned her hand towards her chest. "I mean, look at me. I have to play mother to a bunch of kids all day long. This is one of the rare moments I get to myself. I can't allow something that petty to slow me down. I did that once, and look what happened."

"I suppose so." Nigel uttered as he gazed towards the glowing orange of the afternoon backdrop. "That's some good advice."

"You should know, I got it from you." The girl gave a light smile once Nigel looked in her direction. "You were there for me, Nigel. Just know that I'm more then willing to return the favor anytime." She hinted, allowing herself to hope this would actually get somewhere.

"Thanks, Rachel." Nigel said with a light smile. He had to admit he as feeling a bit better about this whole mess. He looked away from the blonde Supreme Leader, and settling on watching the peaceful scenery once more. "You're a great friend."

Unbeknownst to him, Rachel's smile slowly faltered as he uttered those choice words. "Yeah," She nodded as she glanced down to the sidewalk, a small frown appearing despite her best efforts. "I'm just your friend…"

Noticing the hitch in her voice, Nigel spared Rachel a worried glance as he noticed her lips twitching slightly. "Rachel? Is something bothering _you_?"

"No. It's nothing Nigel." She breathed in a calming breath before letting it out. But she still found her fists clenching and glancing towards the Brit. "It's just that…that…that's IT!" She suddenly snapped causing Nigel to flinch back. She slammed her fists down on the bench, then turned to the boy with a strange look in her eyes. "I'm sick of waiting!"

Nigel's shades lowered revealing his flabbergasted coal blue pupils. "W-Waiting for wha – WAAH!" He yelped as the blonde suddenly jumped on him. His eyes clenched shut as his bald scalp made contact with the harsh wood, but when he opened them, he reeled back at his commander's expression. "R-Rachel!" The blonde's eyes were hooded over, and a flirtatious smirk graced her lips without shame. "W-What in the name of Zero are you doing!" He got out as he tried to wiggle his way out of her grip.

"Don't fight this, _soldier_." She cooed out sweetly as she uncharacteristically trailed a fingers over his cheek. "We need to stop denying ourselves, deep down we both knew it would come this eventually. Why not now?"

"W-What are you talking about?"

"Your stubbornness is so cute." The girl giggled as her face inched dangerously close, and Nigel cursed the stupid bench from keeping him from leaning away. "But really, Nigel, all the signs and hints are there. You just need to take off these silly shades," She gestured by removing his trademark eye wear. "And see them."

"Actually, if I want to see anything, I kinda need those." He admitted as he squinted his eyes a bit. The afternoon sun was already starting to hurt his sensitive pupils. "Besides, those were my dad's! Give them back!"

"You want these?" Rachel let loose a throaty laugh as she leaned off of the boy. She then leaned against he back of the bench and placed the sunglasses over her own eyes. She lowered them to where her shyly batting eyelashes were in view, and smirked as her finger preformed a come-hither gesture. "Come and take them off."

"On second thought, you keep them! Early Christmas present." Nigel nervously chuckled as he gulped. Rachel apparently got tried of sitting idle and started to prowl forward, causing him to crawl backwards. "W-Why are you doing this?"

"I don't want to wait anymore Nigel, I want to get this over with." Rachel continued to gush as she got closer. "No one would mind if we got together now. In fact, I know a few people who would be quite pleased."

Nigel face instantly became beat red as Rachel finally came out and bluntly stated what she wanted. "Y-You're a nice girl and all Rachel, b-but I just came out of a relationship!" He tried to protest, this forced confrontation was too much for him to take. "I don't think I would feel comfortable about it…WHOA!" He screamed as he ran out of bench and toppled over onto the sidewalk.

"Oh but you were so comfortable before," Rachel twisted herself and sat herself at the edge. She crossed her legs and let them dangle over the side while a hand rose up to lower Nigel's shades. "C'mon Nigel, you know you want to. I certainly do. I'm the Kids Next Door's 'mom', I think it's time they got a 'dad' as well."

"Okay, you are officially creeping me out!" Nigel stumbled out as Rachel continued to eye him. He gulped as she positioned herself for another pounce. "Now Rachel, I would normally never say this type of thing, but I seriously think you've had WAY too much sugar today!"

"But that's just it, Nigel. I haven't gotten any _sugar_." She grinned as she licked her lips. "But I'm about to get some. Right now!" Nigel then yelped as he rose his arms up to defend himself, waiting for her to tackle him.

"Numbuh 362!" Nigel's eyes widened as the foreign voice rang out. He lowered his arms a bit to see Rachel also looking back to the operative approaching them. Finally, Fanny, aka Numbuh 86, stopped right in front of the bench. The Irish (or Scottish, pick whatever suits you) Global Tactical Officer placed her hands on her knees as she attempt to speak and catch her breath at the same time. "Thank goodness…I found ye."

Rachel offered the redhead a wry look as she drummed her nails against the bench. "Fanny, I'm kinda in the middle of something here."

"But it's super important!" Fanny exclaimed as her hands shot into the air. "Some of the Elites are fighting against each other! Some of them could be in the Splinter Cell!"

"Aw man." The blonde groaned. Rachel then rose a brow as she glanced back at her bald prize still shell shocked on the ground. "Can't it, like, wait?"

"Lass!"

"Fine, fine. I'm _going_! Gosh." She then hopped off the bench and dusted herself off. She spared one last glance to Nigel and grinned as she slowly pried his shades off her face. She then placed a light kiss on the sunglasses, and tossed them to the stunned boy with a wink. "I'll see _you_ later." The blonde then sauntered off down the street, intent on handling the situation as soon as possible.

Once he was absolutely sure Rachel was gone, and after peeking over the rim a couple of times to make double sure, Nigel slowly gripped the wood and hoisted himself up. Now off the ground, he steadied himself and exhaled a shakey breath. He looked down at the shades in his hand with an odd gaze, and he couldn't stop himself from spotting the smudge from Rachel lips. As if contemplating the correct course of action, he shifted his eyes and placed the items back in their rightful place over his eyes, coughing in his hand once they were on again.

The boy then spared a look towards Fanny, who was still catching her breath from her jog. Curiosity getting the better of him, he couldn't help but ask, "How…serious is the situation with the Elites?"

"Ah, don't wet yourself over it. The stupid boys are just fightin' over their lame Yipper cards again." After taking another calming breath, the redhead sighed as she wiped a bead of sweat off her brow. "I just stretched the truth a bit, or else I woulda never been able ta pry Numbuh 362 off of ye."

"Wait…so you're saying that YOU helped ME?" Nigel questioned bewildered. He would have never thought in a buhmillion light years that Fanny of all people would even consider getting him out of a tight spot. The girl only crossed her arms as Nigel rubbed at his arm. "Uh, thanks…I guess."

"Don't get used to it." Fanny grumbled as she glanced off to the side. "I don't need people thinkin' I'm going soft, or that I helped a BOY." Her eyes then widened before she jabbed at his chest with her finger. "And don't think for a second that I did it cause I like ya or something, CAUSE I DON'T!"

"Alright! I get it!" Nigel fussed back as he politely shoved her hand away. He then wiggled his pinky around in his ear to regain his hearing. "Why did you help me anyway?"

At that, Fanny groaned as her body slumped forward. "Let's just say I understand what ye just went through." Suddenly, her head perked up as she made out a faint noise. She look over her shoulder, and Nigel could only scratch at his head as she hissed out a curse. "Ah crud! I thought I lost him!"

"Lost who?"

"No time!" Fanny got out as she frantically looked around for some sort of quick exit. She then blinked, and narrowed her eyes at the British child. "You NEVER saw me, got it?"

"Uh, sure?"

"Good." She nodded as she prepared to take off, but before she broke out into a sprint her eyes trailed towards Nigel once more. "Y'know, maybe we should hang out sometime."

"What the heck is that supposed to…" Sadly before he could finish his inquiry at Fanny's strange comment, the [Insert preferred ethnicity here] girl took off a like a jet down the street. Out of sight and out of mind. "…mean?" Nigel kept his eyes focused on the spot where Fanny disappeared, trying to make sense of everything that's happened so far.

"This can't possibly get any weirder." He mumbled to himself as he lowered to pick up his backpack. But then he halted mid-crouch and turned behind him when he heard a clatter of boots suddenly arrive. He instantly recognized the boy, and had he could only crinkle his lips. "…I stand corrected."

"You also stand in my way." The Arctic commander Numbuh 60 grumbled out as he shoved Nigel slightly to the side. "One side, red shirt." Patton got out as he viewed down the street, after not seeing what he was looking for, he grumbled as he snapped his fingers. "Dangit, where did she go?"

"Numbuh 60?" The bald boy slowly drawled out as he analyzed the agitated cadet trainer before him. It seemed he was getting a visit from all members of Global Command this afternoon. After the snow cap wearing boy's words caught up with him, he became confused. Surprise, surprise. "Who's 'she'?"

"I'm looking for Numbuh 86," Patton got out as he bent over to peak within the bushes, after finding nothing, he frowned in Nigel's direction again. "You seen her?"

"I…" Nigel stuttered, taken aback by the sudden question. Then bells went off in his mind as he recalled Fanny had told him not to reveal to anyone he had seen her. She then took off like a bullet, just right before Patton showed up. That was no coincidence. Nigel folded his own arms, tucking them into his crimson turtleneck. "Why are you looking for her?" She had helped him with Rachel, he could at least try and repay the favor.

"The Arctic Ball's coming up," Patton started as he lifted up one end of the bench to check under it. Upon finding nothing but little packets of crawling insects, he let it drop as he scouted the rest of the area. "And I got this sudden urge to ask her out."

"YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH 86 ON A _DATE_?" Nigel bellowed. Someone wanted to go out with Fanny, and that someone was Patton. Was the world ending today? That was the only thing that could explain all this nonsense. "B-But WHY? You two hardly know each other!" He couldn't even remember a time the two had ever interacted.

Patton snapped to Nigel as if insulted. "Why? Why do I want to go out with Fanny? What kind of question is that? It should be _obvious_! I want to because…because…" He trailed off, suddenly unsure of his own reasoning. He stroked his chin as he tried to remember. Why _did_ he want to go out with Fanny? He only just found out her real name five minutes ago. "Actually…I really _don't_ know why. I just…do."

Nigel face palmed. "So what you're saying is, you want to start a romantic relationship with Numbuh 86 and you don't even have the faintest idea as to why?"

"Now you're getting it." Patton smirked. He then frowned, and leaned closer as he noticed something on Nigel's shades. "Did you know you got lipstick on your lens?"

"IT WAS MY MOM!" Nigel said the first thing that came to mind as he quickly jerked his shades off and began to furiously rub them against his clothing. Noticing that Patton was staring at him oddly, he changed the the topic and stirred attention away from himself to avoid further embarrassment. "So, uh, you and Fanny huh? Kinda out there, I mean, no one even saw any hints."

"Well I guess that – Wait a second…" Patton was suddenly glaring at Nigel as suspicion crept into his expression. "Since when are YOU on first name basis with her?" He then snarled as he rolled his sleeves up, jealousy causing him to wonder who's lipstick that really was. "Do I need to add you to my list of potential tangos, maggot?" He already had enough to worry about with Numbuh 4.

"She went that way." Nigel dryly responded as he pointed in the opposite direction Fanny had ran off to. Forgetting his animosity, Patton grinned as he took off across the street, leaping over a fence with extreme motive and gusty. Nigel then fell silent as he thought of everything he had been through. He picked up his backpack and came to the conclusion that the moon's atmosphere must have finally got to the leaders of Global Command.

"I'm going to go home now." Nigel reaffirmed to himself as he set his plan. His debt to Fanny had been paid, so he had nothing else to tend to. He slowly turned around intending on putting this all behind him. "Yes. I'm going to go home, repress this, and pretend that none of it ever happened –"

_BAP!_

"AH!" He wailed with pain as he walked straight into an awaiting fist. For the second time that afternoon, he found himself on the sidewalk, only this time he was gripping his sore face in agony. Zero, it was like someone tossed a brick at his jaw. The pain surged and took him by surprise, and as much as he tried not to, he almost let an adult word he overheard Mr. Boss exclaim a while back escape from his young lips. "WHAT THE –"

"How could ya do this ta me!" He froze at the Australian accent, and looked up in pure puzzlement as an angry, heaving Wally stood over his form. His fist that struck the Brit wasn't lowered, and the blond operative snarled as he looked down at Nigel with fury and betrayal shining in his emerald eyes. But mostly fury. "You KNEW how I felt, but you've been plotting behind my back this whole time! How could you! I thought we were mates!"

"Numbuh 4?" Nigel managed to get out before his frustration with the day took over. "Numbuh 4, you better start explaining yourself, NOW!"

"I don't hafta explain anything ta you, ya two-timing snake in the grass!"

"Numbuh 4! I demand to know what nonsense you're spouting off before I write you up for insubordination!"

"Oh, but you would loike that, wouldn't ya?" The mad Aussie started again as he towered over his leader. "Write me up and get me shipped out so ya can keep 'er to yourself! But ya can't fool me! I know yer stupid little plan!"

"My plan?" Nigel repeated, trying to follow the fighter's logic. An impossible task. "Care to remind me what this certain 'plan' is?"

"Don't you start playing dumb, I practically invented that!" Wally growled once more. "I'm not letting ya pull one ova me again. I'm not jus' gonna stand back and let you steal Kuki from me!"

"Steal…" Nigel couldn't even bring himself to finish that absurd sentence. What was wrong with everyone today? "Are you _daft _man?"

"Don't try an' confuse me with smart words. I ain't the sharpest…sharp thing they keep in the…place where they keep sharp things, b-but I ain't blind! I saw the hints! Agreeing to go get her cruddy dolls back, caving in when eva she wants to go shopping. It's all part of yer plan to make yourself look bettah then me and make her forget about me!"

"Question." Nigel interrupted with a dry tone. "If I really was trying to steal Kuki, then why would you care? I thought you 'didn't loike the cruddy sheila'." Nigel said in a mock accent, remembering Wally's words every time he was confronted on the subject. The Brit figured this was all some crazy dream and didn't care what happened to him at this point.

"I…I-I…Ah CRUD!" Wally cursed realizing he had been caught. But it wasn't his fault, Nigel tricked him into saying it! Tricking him because it was all part of his master plan. More irritated then before, the blond sneered as he lifted his fists up for another blow. "Now yer REALLY gonna get it!"

"Oh goody." Nigel mumbled as he clenched his eyes shut. "More pain." He couldn't believe he was reconsidering being trapped with Rachel at this point. At least he could wash the lipstick off. A shiner would stick, and hurt, quite a while longer.

"Hey! Lemme go!"

"Boy, you better calm down 'fore Numbuh 5 knocks some sense into your pea brain!"

Peeking one eye open, the Brit cast his look upwards to see an annoyed Abby holding back a struggling Wally. He was far too gone at this point to be surprised at her sudden appearance, and just settled on a glare. "Numbuh 5, is this all some sort of sick prank? Because I swear, I find out if it is –"

"I'll explain later, Numbuh 1." Abby muttered out as she held Wally at bay. She lowered his arms behind his back and waited for him give in. After a few minutes, Wally went still and the mocha skinned operative arched an expectant brow. "Now if I let ya go, do you promise to stop acting all crazy?"

"But Numbuh 5!" Wally whined as the girl kept him from beating the crud out of Nigel. "The stupid pom went behind my back!"

"Is everyone high today?" Nigel mumbled out remembering the word the teacher had used when they were going over drug abuse in Health Science. It was the only thing he could come up with that could explain all the crud he had been through. Rachel becoming a forceful flirt, Fanny _helping_ him, Patton suddenly decides he likes said redhead for no clear reason, and now Wally wanting to murder him because he thought he like-liked Kuki. They had to be on something. Or was it the other way around? "Or, am _I_ high?" He knew Gramma Stuffum put something in that liverwurst!

"Numbuh 1, be quiet for a second." Abby uttered while rolling her eyes. She saw Wally try and move towards him again, and she lightly batted him with her cap as a warning. "And you stop trying to hit everybody! He ain't trying to steal anyone ya fool! I was just joking!"

"You…were?" Wally slowly mumbled, then it all suddenly clicked. Abby tricked him into admitting he had feelings for Kuki! He blushed as he looked down. Why did everyone always do this to him? He then turned to see Nigel still trying to explain his weird day, and despite Abby's words, he found himself frowning at the bald Brit again. "But what if he really does?" You could never be too careful.

Abby shook her head, not believing he was being this dense. But then again, this was Wally they were talking about. The girl placed her hat back upon her head and idly glanced up to the sky. She then noticed something, and faced Wally. "That really don't matter, cause you got bigger problems to worry about."

"What's that mean?" All Abby did was point upwards just as the sounds of plane could be heard from overhead. Nigel and Wally both glanced up, and the blond blanched when he saw one of The Kid's planes. But the passenger was the one who had his main attention. "KUKI?"

"Hi Wally!" He heard the Asian cry out. The girl leaned over the side, her hair billowing in the wind as she waved down at her three friends. "I'm going on a joyride! Isn't that neat?" She giggled as they passed over the neighborhood. The Kid looked down at Wally as well, but he only showed off a smug grin as he lightly waved as well.

"Why that mangy…" Wally growled as new anger began to bubble. Nigel and Abby were all left behind as he blazed off in a storm of rage and envy after the plane on the horizon. "COME BACK 'ERE!"

"Um, um, um." Abby mumbled as she watched the boy take off. Well, at least that solved one problem. She then shifted her focus to her fellow teammate, and offered a hand to help him up. Nigel accepted, and Abby watched the confusion just play across his pale face. "You alright, Numbuh 1?"

"I don't even know anymore." Nigel whimpered as he massaged his temples. Finally reaching a breaking point, he let it all out. "This whole thing is crazy! What is wrong with everyone Abby? Has the world gone mad?"

"Beats me, boss." The girl admitted as she shrugged. "Numbuh 5 guesses when it comes to these types of things, everyone goes nuts and starts up all this whack junk." It still amazed her how silly people would act over these relationship issues. "It's stupid, really."

Nigel scoffed in reply. "Stupid or not, I'm done!" The Brit huffed out as he moodily jerked up his backpack. "I can't take this anymore."

"Whatcha gonna do?"

"I'm going to take personal leave and go lock myself in my room until everyone regains their sanity." He set in stone as he turned towards home, hoping he didn't run into anybody else before he got there. "Call me when the Full Moon's over." He sighed as he began to pace away. The sooner he put this mess behind him the better. Maybe he would go and beat up the Toiletnator to vent some stress later. Yeah, that was always enjoyable. But before he could leave, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Nigel slumped forward, and groaned before addressing Abby. "Numbuh 5, I appreciate what you did, I really do. But I just really want to go home. I've had a rough day."

"I know." The girl started. She looked towards her leader, and a light blush played across her dark skin. "But I was wondering if ya wanted to get some ice cream…and stuff." She then frowned. "I figured now's my chance to ask now that Rachel's gone. You spend so much time with her lately, it's like you've forgotten about me."

The punches just never quit. All Nigel could do was gape as he eyed the girl as if she were insane. He fully turned to face Abby, about to tell her his response to that statement.

_CL-CLICK!_

The Brit stopped short when the sound of a weapon cocking echoed from behind. He turned around again, and almost wet himself when he came face to face with a hulking 2x4 weapon a miffed Hoagie was aiming straight for his head. Nigel switched his gaze from the large clunky weapon, to the growling portly pilot as malice sparkled behind his yellow flyer goggles. Hoagie's growl rose in volume as he made sure his launcher was loaded. "Don't you even JOKE about it!"

Nigel had no intention of making light of this situation, especially when Hoagie had a cannon backing him up.

* * *

**This was something I started a while back, and I remembered it and decided to finish it.**

**As a friend of mine said recently, Nigel is the pairing bicycle.  
**

**Later.**


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